One year ago today the world was changed forever.
Our little Mouse was born via emergency C-Section at 8:21pm. I remember not caring one bit that the birth had not gone as I’d hoped, but rather I was strapped down, numb and just straining to see your face and praying to hear a healthy cry. I remember Mr. Mouse’s eyes as he tried to hide his fears and be strong for me. I remember the gentleness in the stroke of hand on my hair and cheek…the only thing he was allowed to touch.
And then…you simply were. You were the screech of fear and health that filled the room with your anger at the bright lights and cold air. You were the squinty, bloody face that I could not look away from. You were the tiny soul your daddy held next to my face to kiss. I could only cuddle you with my eyes and voice. Those moments were too brief because it seems that in an instant you were leaving with your Daddy so they could sew me back together.
The recovery wait seemed like hours; but made tolerable by your Grandma who came to hold my hand and remind me again and again that you were alright; that I would see you again.
And there you were again. In the haze that is my eyesight without my glasses, I saw your Daddy walking towards my bed wheeling you ahead of him in your crib. He laid your tiny body against my chest and it felt as if you were finally home again; against me, heart to heart. No longer sharing the same beat and blood, but still attached by that invisible tie that only a Mother has with her child. You opened your dark eyes to look at my tear filled eyes and we both knew it really was going to be all alright.
It has been an entire year my dearest son. A year filled with joys unimagined and love unbound. I’ve found depths I never imagined; depths of strength, wisdom, fear, laughter and joy.
We three are now changed forever. Our little family while not even close to perfect, is, indeed ours to make of it all we can.
One year ago today, the world changed forever